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Terror Alert Level
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- You and your puny salary / You think a $100K salary is a lot? $500K? Please. The truly wealthy scoff at your paltry breadcrumbs
- Raise a mountain in your pants! / Kick-up porno for mmorford!! See her get instantly geeked. Hello! I am bored this evening. Internetttapoooootheke!
- 10 ways to blow your tax rebate / Gas, video games, meditation, booze. What, you were planning on paying bills? As if
- Laura Bush, docile doormat / Behold, the ideal Republican wife: Prim, sexless, nearly useless, lets the men do the real thinkin'. Hot!
- All the president's liars / Fun new game! Which TV news "military expert" is really a whore for the Bush administration? (Hint: all of them)
- How to sing like a planet / Scientists say the Earth is humming. Not just noise, but a deep, astonishing music. Can you hear it?
- Wal-Mart cross-dressers in Hell / 30 years of wacky behind-the-scenes corporate behavior, all on videotape. It's a nightmare!
- Free Tibet? Hell, free America! / Support the humble monks? You bet. But oh, let's not forget our own wonderfully abundant atrocities
- The great pubic hair conundrum / See! 8-year-old girls getting bikini waxes! Hear! Tales of spoiled tweens and their pricey dye jobs! Oh the horror!
- Three minutes of sad grunting / It's official: Sex therapists suck in bed. Also: Insane Idaho Senate candidates, Spitzer in the back
- The very best thing about Barack Obama / No, not that. Or that or that or that. It's that other thing, deeper, crazier, intuitive
- A hooker for every senator / Imagine a world with more sexually open, sensual, happily libidinous politicians. Wait, can you?
- Free iPhone with Every Outrage! / Bored with the 'war' on Iraq? 4,000 dead merely induce shrugging? Need an incentive to keep caring?
- Tax my rich white torturer / Schools? Health care? As if. Your taxes pay for brutality and Wall St. bailouts. Feel better?
- Note to China: Please Implode / Could the Olympics rain down shame on Chinese oppression and Tibet abuses? Let's hope
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